Four Days...

Only four days remain until Dimitry arrives in America.  Four days until our home goes from two adults and two cats to two cats, one 11 year old boy, and two "adults" wondering what the heck they're doing.  Four days until an orphan treks from his institutional setting that he calls home to a foreign country where he doesn't know the language, doesn't know the two people who have invited him into their home, and doesn't know which stories of life in America are true.  Four days until God changes our lives forever.

Dimitry's room for the summer.

It's hard to believe that the time is already here.  We've been on this journey for over a year and now the reality is here, sinking in deeper and deeper with each day (and sometimes every hour and minute).  We are simultaneously excited and nervous.  The past few days we've been panicked, reassured, panicked again, and determined to have everything ready for Dimitry when he gets here.  We've used this weekend to get his room prepared and tried to furnish it with items that someone his age will enjoy.  We've also added a few items to help him learn some basic English words and aid in communication. Many items in our house are now labeled in English and Latvian (thank you Google Translator!).  There are still a few things that we'll be wrapping up in the next few days, but things are mostly good to go!

We know that this is a short update, but we wanted to post something since everything is getting very close!  Please pray for Dimitry's travel, especially that all legal stuff (mainly his Visa) is solidified, and our final preparations.  We also want to say a special thanks to the Bleavins family, who reassured us over the weekend after discussing their hosting experience last summer (their blog can be found here)!

Yard Sale and a Day in the Life...

This past weekend Casey's parents hosted a yard sale to raise additional funds to support us while Dimitry is here.  It was a huge success and we raised exactly the amount that God intended for us to have!  Beyond the money, many people were able to pitch in and get involved which makes this much more than just our missions opportunity!  King's mom picked up donations from her friends and drove them up to Richmond and many of Casey's parent's friends donated items as well.  Casey's mom, dad, and brother really went all out in giving their time and resources to pick up items and advertise the sale for weeks-even months!-prior to the big event.  We are SO thankful for everyone who got involved and hope that you each feel like you are a part of what's going on here!  Thank you!

We also wanted to clarify something.  In our last post we mentioned that we had reached our initial fundraising goal, so some of you may be wondering why we are continuing to fundraise.  While we have an idea of what it will cost to host Dimitry and that is where we set our goal, there are many uncertainties.  We aren't sure what his eye, dental, or other medical needs are and what it will cost to provide for those needs while he is here.  For this reason we are continuing to raise funds and seek donations.  So, what happens if we have money left over?  We can use these funds in three different ways:  1) save it for another future hosting, 2) put it towards a potential adoption in the future, or 3) use it for a scholarship for a child to be hosted by another family through New Horizons.  Rest assured--all funds raised will go toward orphan care!

While we were at the hosting training a couple of weeks ago we learned about the typical day in the life of an orphan from Ukraine, Russia, or Latvia (Dimitry is from Latvia).  This helps us to better understand the differences between where Dimitry is coming from and what he will be experiencing here with us.  It was also enlightening as it helped to explain some behaviors we may see from him that are not typical for his age, based on American societal standards.  So, for the remainder of this post we will share with you what a day for Dimitry is probably like...

Dimitry probably wakes up in a room with about ten other children that smells of bodily waste.  The doors to their rooms are locked at night, and they are unable to leave for any reason.  As a result, most children relieve themselves in their beds since they cannot go to the bathroom.  Once the doors are unlocked, Dimitry and his roommates will join the other 240 orphans for breakfast.  Here he will likely have something very bland to eat or possibly just bread and water.

After breakfast the children go to school.  The teacher for their class will likely not be very effective since teaching in an orphanage is not a desirable position for a teacher in this country.  Even the smartest children are likely two or three grade-levels behind in at least one, if not all, subjects.  Dimitry and the other orphans will have a break in the middle of the day for lunch, where they will have bland food again.  School will end at about 2:30 and the children may be given a snack.  This is followed by a two hour "nap time," when Dimitry will be sent back to his room and locked in again with his roommates for 2 hours.  During this time it is unlikely that the children sleep, but they aren't permitted any toys, supplies, or school work.

After nap time, he may have about an hour and a half of free time, which is the only time of the day Dimitry will get to spend outside.  However, "outside" is limited to the outdoor areas of the orphanage, so it is not very extensive.  Not only are the grounds limited, but so are the outdoor toys and games as well.  After free time, Dimitry and the other orphans will come back inside for dinner, followed by homework until bedtime at 8 PM.

As you can see, his day is very structured, and he has little freedom to make decisions for himself.  In fact, his clothes will likely be chosen for him every day and will be based on what is available by the time it is his turn.  All items in the orphanages become community property-including clothing and shoes.  The only time that Dimitry will get to pick his own clothes is if he has laundry duty.  On those occasions, he will have "first dibs" on the clean clothes. 

So that's what a day in his life may look like.  We want to emphasize that while this is the run down that was shared with us at our training for orphans from these countries (Russia, Ukraine, and Latvia), it may not be exactly what his life is like.  However, we were assured that it would not vary much from the details we shared above. 

As you can see, Dimitry's life is very structured.  We're in the process of figuring out a general daily schedule so he's not in completely overwhelmed by all of the down time, but he will definitely get to experience more freedom than he has become accustomed to.

Please continue to pray for us as the day he arrives is quickly approaching (2.5 weeks!!!!!)  Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support.  We are truly grateful!

*Update-we have had a suitcase, hat, gloves, two summer shirts, a pair of shorts, a pair of swimming trunks, and underwear either donated or spoken for by friends who have committed to provide these items upon his arrival.  Please see our last post if you would like to contribute toward his needs.  THANKS!

Blessings

In the time that has passed since our last post we have been blessed beyond measure!!!  We would like to share our story of God's provision.  We have reached our financial fundraising goal through the generosity of friends and family, and in some cases their friends and family!  It has been amazing to see how God is using our journey as an opportunity to share Him with others.  Each time we tell the story of what we're doing and why we're doing it is an chance to share Christ.  In addition, the testament we have for the way God has provided for us throughout this process has taught us to trust in Him and reminded us that we are not in control of this--or anything else in our lives!  Sharing this story with others is also a way of telling others about the nature of God.  Beyond financial giving for hosting expenses, we have been surprised by friends who threw a party and requested that attendees bring items to assist us with hosting this summer.  We ended up with toys, gift cards, and home supplies that will definitely be used and needed when Dimitry visits this summer!  Through demonstrations of this sort of giving we have been humbled and reminded that we are not on this mission alone!  Many people are invested in bringing Dimitry to America and pouring God's love into him!  It is also incredibly encouraging to us, as we are sometimes overwhelmed by the commitment we've made for the summer.  Beyond financial contributions and gifts, we have received emails, cards, and in-person messages of love and support.  We are SO blessed that God has put each of you in our lives for a distinct purpose at this time to support us in a unique way.  THANK YOU!

On a different note, we attended our "orphan hosting training" yesterday.  While the training reviewed some things that we already know (either from our social work background or from friends that have hosted before), we learned many new things about how orphans in each of these countries lives, what they typically eat and do, what hosting looks like for them, what to expect when they're here, and so many other background details that help to give us perspective.  We plan to update the blog more frequently in the coming weeks to share this information with you in snippets...it can be kind of overwhelming all at one time!

So, for today we would like to share what we know about Dimitry's visit to the states.  He will be arriving on June 30th and departing on August 4th.  We are almost 100% positive that he will be flying in and out of Charlotte (which is also a major blessing!  We were initially told he may be flying into Atlanta or D.C.).  As part of our preparation for hosting, we had to write a letter to Dimitry that included pictures and information about us.  We were under the impression that he would receive that as soon as his hosting was official, but we learned yesterday that he will likely never know anything about us until he is on the plane!!  He will also likely not even know that he is coming to America until the day before he begins his travels!!  This blows our minds--Casey would never be able to handle this!  Again, knowing this gives us some perspective and allows us to adjust our expectations for his arrival in America...it also challenges us to live in a way that puts more trust in God and His plans and to, once again, relinquish some control!  His journey from Latvia to America will last between 20-35 hours.  He will almost definitely have to take a bus to a train to a plane, and then take at least two planes (likely three) before he arrives at the airport where we will receive him.  What a journey for this little one!  We have been warned that he may have a breakdown in the airport (who wouldn't!).  This may be the result of exhaustion, fear, anxiety, or just a mix of emotions as the reality of the unknown sets in.

Once here we were told to prepare for a five week cycle that looks like this:

Week 1:  We should expect him to be introverted and shy.  He will likely be in culture and language shock.  Additionally, he has lived with many other children in a highly structured environment where routine is the rule.  In our home, with no other children and a pretty free flowing structure, he may feel panicked.  During this week we need to work to establish routines.  This will probably be difficult for us, as this week will be very different based on our schedules...this should be a prayer request!

Week 2:  Testing week!  We were told that as he gets more adjusted we can expect him to challenge our authority and test boundaries.  During this time we were told it is incredibly important to "be a parent" and set firm boundaries and both positive and negative consequences.  While we understand and thoroughly believe this-we've never had to do it in a home setting...again, this is a prayer request!

Weeks 3 & 4: This is when we should really see a glimpse of his true personality.  He should be relaxed and more open during this time.  We are looking forward to these weeks!

Week 5:  As we have learned from our schooling, kids withdrawal to protect themselves and put up walls for self-preservation.  We were told to expect Dimitry to to this during his last week with us as he begins to realize that he is heading back to Latvia.

So, what happens after week 5?  Well, we learned that it is not possible for us to adopt Dimitry, even if we feel strongly that we want to.  While we didn't pursue this hosting to adopt him, it was in the back of our minds that if we felt like we were supposed to that we would.  However, God has already answered that for us.  In Latvia, you have to be 18 years older than the child you are adopting.  Casey is only 27 years old and he is 11 (he had a birthday since out last post!); King is also not quite 18 years older.  Therefore, we legally are unable to adopt Dimitry.  However, while he is here it is our goal to teach him about a loving God and a Christian family.  We hope to bless him in this way.  After he returns we hope to maintain a relationship with him through the internet and good ol' snail mail.

As the date quickly approaches we continue to have many prayer requests and needs.  Thank you for continuing to intercede on our behalf and for blessing us with your prayers, encouragement, and other means of support.

Prayer Request:

• That Dimitry's VISA will be approved for him to travel to the states
• That his journey will be safe and as quick as possible
• That we will be good "parents" for him while he is here
• That we will be strong representatives for Christ and share God's love with Dimitry; that our example will be Godly
• For Dimitry's physical, psychological, and emotional safety as he will likely be faced with many challenges while visiting us
• The yard sale Casey's parents are hosting will be successful and will be an opportunity to share this story and the story of Christ with even more people
• That other needs (listed below) will continue to be provided for as we prepare for Dimitry's arrival

Needs:

• A dentist willing to donate any and all needed services (this will likely include dental exam, x-rays, and fillings); we have a lead on a dentist who may be able to help, but we need to follow up and in the meantime are willing to take suggestions from anyone who may know of a dentist who can help
• An optometrist willing to donate any and all needed services; again we have a lead on someone, but nothing solid and are taking suggestions

The following needs are requirements that we MUST send home with the child.  They can be second-hand, but must be in good condition.  They must not be brand-name as this could cause bullies to harass him when he returns home.  We learned that most items he returns with will become community property.  If you are able to donate any of these items we would GREATLY appreciate it; or if you would like to give gift cards to stores like Target or Wal-mart that would be excellent as well!

• One 26-28 inch rolling suitcase (we would like this to be new)
• One large backpack (we would also like this to be new)
• Tennis shoes/sneakers (we plan to purchase these for him after we measure his feet and would like for these to be new as well)
• 4 pairs of dark colored athletic socks (boys prefer the dark colors in Latvia)
• 4 pairs boxer underwear
• Hygiene products
• One hand towel and wash cloth set-NO large towels do to lack of dryer space
• One dressy outfit
• 2-3 winter outfits and 2-3 summer outfits (we don't know his size, so if you have second hand clothes for boys ages 8-12 we would gladly take it off your hands to have him try on and then either return remaining items or donate them to someone else on your behalf)
• One bathing suit
• One winter coat
• One scarf
• One set of gloves
• One winter hat
• A small photo album
• A journal
• Board games that he can take back home; this actually may be better if it is the travel sized games and we were told repeatedly that the children in the orphanages love UNO and other card games
• Other toys that don't require batteries (such as sports equipment); we were already given a frisbee and a football. He LOVES soccer so any soccer equipment, especially shin guards, are recommended and appreciated
• Small items for children who didn't get to attend the trip; items such as silly bands, beaded jewelry, or small items that can be found as Christian bookstores, like bookmarks and beads are recommended

O.K.  So, we hope we didn't overwhelm you!  The funny this is that we still have SO much to share.  In the meantime we hope that this gives you enough information to pray and consider until our next update!

Thank you for reading this blog and for loving us.  Your support, is the greatest blessing and source of encouragement.  And, since we believe it is God who prompts you to support us, we ultimately praise Him for giving us all we need to do His work.

Thank you!  We pray you will also be blessed this week!

A Step Back and Three Steps Forward

Quite a bit has happened since our last update!  As we mentioned, we had a child "on hold" and were waiting for our application to process.  We also noted that we had little control over the general situation, which proved to be so true in the waiting process.  Sadly, the boy that we told you about was moved to the "unhostable" category and will not be staying with us over the summer.  He was moved the same foster home as his younger sister (which we believe is a good thing) and did not handle the transition very well (read: lots of outbursts).  While we were disappointed with this news, we both understood that his reaction was pretty normal for someone in his circumstances.  Now we pray that he begins to transition well and can solidify a relationship with his sister.

Despite this setback, we actually can update this post joyfully!  We are now officially hosting a child this summer!  Once we were informed of the situation, we went back to the listing of available children and selected another child to host.  Since our application, paperwork, and background check were already cleared for the previous child, moving from "on hold" to "hosted" moved much faster!  Now, on to the details!  Dimitry is a 10 year-old boy from Latvia.  He loves cats and likes dogs too, which is great for us since we have two cats at our house and we'll be around dogs and cats when we visit King's parents.  He likes to play and enjoys sports, especially hockey (anyone know if the Carolina Hurricanes or Charlotte Checkers do any scrimmages or practices over the summer?).  We will still have a bit of a language barrier, since he primarily speaks Latvian, but between translators from New Horizons and friends in town who have adopted Latvian children, we think we'll be okay (though prayers in this area are encouraged!)  We're very, very excited about this next step and continue to pray that we'll continue to prepare for his arrival this summer.

We also want to let everyone know about an opportunity to help us raise funds for this summer.  Casey's parents have been gracious enough to host a yard sale at their home outside of Richmond, VA on June 4.  If you or anyone you know is interested in stopping by or helping out, please let us know and we'll get you the details!  We'll add more info as the date gets closer!

Also, we're still fundraising and looking for doctors, dentists, and optometrists in our area who may be willing to donate their services.  If you would like to donate, please use the link on the right hand side of the blog page.  If you know of any health providers who may be willing to help us out, please send us their information.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support.  =)

On Hold

We did it!  We (finally) completed the extended application for the hosting program.  Finding the time to pull it together in just a weeks time was challenging, but we decided to spend Friday night relaxing at home and knocked out the rest of the application.  We sent it off on Saturday morning and it should arrive in GA today or tomorrow.  Thank you to those of you who agreed to be references, fill out recommendations, or join our team of prayer partners.  We are appreciative-and VERY excited!

So, what was with the rush to get this application done in a week?  Well, we decided to make a move and put a child on hold!  We aren't revealing too many of the details at this time because it is still unofficial.  However, we feel comfortable in telling you that he is a young man of nine years old and he is in an orphanage in Latvia.  He has a sister who is two years old who will not be coming to America, as she is too young for the hosting program.  Please pray for this boy and his little sister.  We aren't certain that he will be placed with us, but we are certain that he has been brought to our attention for a reason. 

Along with this excitement we are starting to get anxious (Casey more than King...is anyone surprised by this?!).  As the reality of what we're committing to do sets in, we feel overwhelmed by the potential barriers and the lack of control we have over the situation.  We feel limited in our abilities in so many ways.  For instance, this child speaks Latvian and Russian, but no English.  The challenge of communication is something that we will have to work to overcome.  The issue of discipline is another; while Casey has plenty of teaching experience and King works with at-risk youth on a daily basis, we've never raised our own child.  We don't have established boundaries and expectations around what is acceptable for children in our home.  Then there is the issue of attachment; this child and his sister are cleared for adoption in Latvia.  While we did not decide to host this summer with the intentional end of adoption, neither of us can deny that this thought is looming in the back of our minds.  Once we start down this path, many other feelings and thoughts take over (and then Casey really starts to panic!). 

Thankfully, over the past week as we have shared our thoughts and feelings with friends and accountability partners, we have been reminded to STOP!, take a deep breath, and get through one challenge at a time.  This has been the best reminder over the past week!  Realizing that even if we think we can control elements of the situation, we ultimately have no control over the outcome of this experience.  We are doing this for God, because He calls us to care for the children in this world without parents to guide them and teach them about His nature. 

Luckily, we also have friends in the area who have adopted children from other countries, and several that have hosted and/or adopted through the New Horizons program that can help us along the way.  One way that we plan to prepare for this opportunity is to meet with families in our area who have hosted and gain their expertise.  We hope that gaining their perspective will ease some of our anxieties and give us ideas for systems we can put in place to make the visit more enjoyable for everyone involved!

If you're keeping us in your prayers, please consider the following requests:

• That our application will be received, reviewed, and accepted.
• That this boy and his sister will learn of Christ's love and one day become Christians.
• That the child we are supposed to host will come prepared to our home, ready and willing to hear about and receive Christ.
• That we will cast our anxiety on Him; that we will not be concerned for the future or what challenges may be ahead, but that we will depend on God to bring us through this journey one step at a time.
• Casey's parents are planning to host a yard sale to raise funds for hosting; pray that we can solidify a date and that the event goes smoothly.  Along with raising funds we plan to use this time to share about the hosting program and it's Christian focus at the sale.
• Continued support: financially, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Thank you for keeping us in your prayers and for continuing to follow our updates.  We hope to have some good news to share with you regarding the child we will be hosting this summer soon.

Moving Right Along...

We attended an informational dinner at our church last week for families who were interested in hosting.  We were able to speak with a family who has hosted in the past and were able to get a better idea of what to expect.

After this meeting, we were able to look at pictures and a brief bio of the children available for hosting.  (If you would like to look at the pictures yourself, go here.  You will have to fill out some basic information and New Horizons will email you a link.)  We did have one child chosen, but in the process of getting things clarified, he had already been connected to another family.  =(  While this was sad, we are remembering that God is at work in this and already has a child in mind that will be a good match for our home.

So, what happens next?  Thankfully, we've already been able to raise enough funds to meet our minimum deposit.  We are also currently working on our full application (we've already completed a pre-application) that is due before we can officially host.  It has been a bit of a time consuming process, but we are steadily moving through it. 

Please pray for us as we continue through the next step in the process.  We have specific prayer needs listed below:

• Time managment in order to complete the requirements for hosting (application, house inspection, etc.)
• Selecting the child to host and ease with this process
• For the child!  We have been praying for this child since we first decided to host.  We don't know who will be with us yet, but we do know that God is at work in this process.  We pray that the child he has chosen for us will have a positive experience, that we will have a positive impact on his/her life, and for his/her salvation. 

Thank you for joining us in prayer.  Support in this way is SO meaningful.  If you are interested in joining with us as an "official" prayer partner, please get in touch with us as we need to include a list of prayer partners in our application.  We appreciate your prayers!

By the Numbers

This week we wanted to give you some statistics about orphans, foster care, and adoption focusing on our home state of North Carolina, the United States, and the world. 

North Carolina:

In 2003 (most recent data available to the public), there were 9,534 North Carolinian children in foster care.

At the end of FY 2003,  3,097 children were still in foster care and waiting to be adopted; only 1,296 were adopted during the year.

 United States:

In 2009, 423,773 American children were in foster care.  69,947 parents of these children had their parental rights terminated (this number only includes situations in which all parents have lost parental rights).

The average stay for a child in foster care is just over 2 years (26.7 months); each child will likely have at least two foster home placements each year.

Foster children in the US have higher rates of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD; 15.1% compared to 4.5% in the general population), conduct disorder (20.7% compared to 7.0%), major depressive disorder (19.0% compared to 11.9%), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD; 13.4% compared to 5.2%).

Over 25% of the homeless population in the US spent a part of their childhood in foster care.

Only 54% of foster children graduate high school and only 10.8% will receive at least a BA (compared to 24.4% of the general population).

World:

Every 2.2 seconds a child loses a parent somewhere in the world.

Every day 5,760 more children in the world become orphans.

Unicef estimates that 153 million children were orphaned in 2009 (which does NOT include children who have been abandoned).  16.6 million became orphans due to HIV/AIDS; 14.9 million of these children lived in Africa.*

Each day 38,493 orphans age out of care.

In Russia and the Ukraine, studies have shown that 10% – 15% of these children commit suicide before they reach age eighteen.

These studies also show that 60% of the girls become prostitutes and 70% of the boys become hardened criminals.

Another Russian study reported that of the 15,000 orphans aging out of state-run institutions every year, 10% committed suicide, 5,000 were unemployed, 6,000 were homeless and 3,000 were in prison within three years.

  *These numbers do not include all countries due to lack of reporting.

  

We aren't listing these facts to make anyone feel guilty or more compelled to support us financially.  We share them to draw your attention to the problem and the long-term consequences associated with being an orphan who is never united with a forever home.  We feel so blessed to have been raised in Christian homes with two parents (for a total of four!) that loved us more than we can ever express.  To share even an ounce of what we've been blessed to have with an orphan may have an impact that we'll never fully know.

Thanks for joining with us on this journey!